I thought in the end I had found a home,
but it was all just an illusion.
I thought this was where I would not be alone,
instead it plunged me deep into confusion.
I thought there was always something
but in the end I saw it would not work out.
I considered those gloomy times to be gone,
but now they were back, so beyond a doubt.
I can feel all the barriers torn down,
and all my thoughts, they feel so light and free.
all the baggage that died with my last frown,
to make way for a second reality.
I can feel so much that has gone away,
with that darkness no more a part of me.
all the things I thought forced me to stay,
now forgotten with a past reality.
I can feel it die away without sound,
like a fading image of a past me,
with no place in the freedom I have found,
living in this second reality.
but I need to leave my place below deck,
so long have I felt it is long past twelve.
when I need to turn and never look back,
to go where I can just be myself.
I know somewhere I skidded off the track,
but I just could not see clearly back then.
I need to leave behind all that slack,
and find out once more who I really am.